Thursday, June 26, 2008

you made it seem so real.
you made it seem too good to be true.
all those words you said, all the things that you did.
i thought it was real.
i thought this was my big break.
you and your words were hell to me after i found out the things i didn't wanna know.
i trusted you.
i had faith in you.
you turn your back on me and stabbed me right in the heart and also my back.
you talked shits that were so fake to other people.
never had feelings for me?
you were telling me, "we should be termed 'us' and not 'you and me'. you need to have faith in me that i'm different from the rest. don't be afraid. :) i've never been this happy for a really long time. everytime i think of you, my heart skips a beat. i'm no longer interested in *can't write it out here* ever since i met you. i'm pretty sure we need less than a year to get together if we keep going on like this."
all fucking lies huh.
what were the words you said after we argued?
"she was just a mere crush. she was the one liking me all along and pushing herself to me. how desperate. she led herself on. it was my mistake to tell her to have faith in me. she should stop having faith in me now and forget about me. get a life, bitch. stop being so desperate. we can either be friends or nothing else. i'm gonna PROTECT MY OWN FEELINGS from you."
what a god damned coward.
you got the guts to tell me all those things when we're in good terms and when we argued over a bloody misunderstanding, you say all those shits?
friends? maybe you don't quite get the meaning.
you fucking blocked me.
how is that being friends?
do you think it's that simple to have faith in someone and take it off when things go wrong?
i wonder what kind of faith do you have that is so easily forgotten.
you keep saying i'm the one being immature.
who is the one being immatured when he asks me to "stop having faith" after he told me to just a few days before?
gosh man.
i can't believe you are these kind of person.
you were protecting your best friend and came up to me and scolded the shits out of me.
when i was trying to explain, you told me to shut up.
that was the final straw.
that fucking pissed me off.
i yelled at him like crap.
i said, "BOTH OF YOU ARE TWO OF A KIND. BETRAYING THE PEOPLE WHO TRUSTS YOU. I REGRET EVERYTHING I SAID TO YOU AND I REGRET EVERYTHING I DONE FOR YOU. IT WAS ME BEING SO STUPID TO EVEN LIKE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. they were ALL LIES. LOL. whatever la. I DON'T EVEN WANT US TO BE FRIENDS. I'd RATHER US BEING NOTHING AT ALL. you told me not to judge you when there were so many people saying bad stuff about you being a flirt. fine. i trusted you. NOW, you're judging me when people are talking shits about me? wow. you make 'SO MUCH SENSE'. i hope you can find a girl that can stand all your shits. goodbye."
he was shocked to see what i wrote.
i yelled at him for the first time.
i never expected myself to say all that to you.
you pushed me to a corner where i couldn't take it anymore.
all i ever did before was to care so damn much about you.
you just hurt me so damn much.
i can tell you this.
no one will ever care for you as much as i did.
you just lost that one person that was gonna be there for you through your shittiest times and will be there to love you through any kind of circumstances.
be the one by your side till the end.
but, no.
you wanted MORE.
go ahead.
be greedy.
you'll get what you deserve some day.
all my friends were saying all sorts of shits about you.
but, no. i trusted you.
trusting you was the biggest shit mistake i've ever made.
my biggest regret.
now, i'm holding my head up high.
thanking GOD i was never with you.