Monday, October 20, 2008

let me clarify myself.
the people which read my blog varies from the person i'm talking about, their friends, their enemies, random strangers and even the school authority.
there are three different responses which i will get from the people who read my blog.
the first would be the people who will think that it's such a funny thing to read about the way i express these people.
the second would be the people who will think i'm just plain mean.
the third would be the people who are just passers by which just read for the fun of reading it.
let me start with the group which thinks that this blog is funny and resembles a blockbuster.
i'm glad you enjoy the entertainment that i'm bringing to the world.
but, i've no intention to mean it that way.
i'm just speaking my mind.
secondly, the group which thinks this is plain mean.
let me tell you one thing about of me that a hell lot of people do not know about.
me, i'm the kind of person which speaks my mind.
i'm the kind of person which ensures justice is served.
i'm the kind of person which takes revenge to a whole new level.
i'm the kind of person which can be mean to the people which are mean to me.
i'm the kind of person which can love the people that love me like the rainbow which are desired by the world.
i can hate someone like how adam hates the snake that lured him to eat that apple.
this second group of people thinks that i'm so mean to bitch about them in this way.
such a cruel way to pass on this message.
the only people who knows me are my best mates and my boy.
now, without emotions overwhelming me, i shall lie it all for the world to see to make things clear.
you all keep questioning, "why is this girl so mean?"
let me give you another question which is even better, "what did these people do to her?"
there's a reason behind every doing.
i'm not that free to talk random stuff about all these people.
it's cos they treated me the worse anybody possibly can.
i treated them like my friends and they pushed the wrong button.
we were best friends.
why are things in this manner now?
it's because you all didn't see that our friendship actually meant something to me.
the fact that you took it for granted and turned against me triggered my anger.
i admit, i'm a short tempered person.
the fact is that, you can't take friends for granted after all they've done for you.
another question may arise in the minds of others, "how can she be so cold-hearted?"
let me answer that question without hesitating.
it's cos they were cold-hearted to me.
i'm not those kind of people which sit there and let people step all over me and keep quiet.
i'm the kind of person which will stand up for what i know is right.
mark that.
not what i THINK is right.
it's what i KNOW is right.
i won't argue when i'm in the wrong.
let me ask all the audience of my blog.
what would YOU do when the person you trust the most has been betraying you all along and taking your friendship for granted?
i know some of you will say just let it be.
some of you will say you'll cry to sleep.
some of you will get into a rage like me but keep it to yourself.
some of you will feel a piece of your heart get ripped out of our chest but plaster a smile on your face to hide it from the world.
but, let me tell you, there's a group of people which will let out all emotions through their blogs.
it works that way for me.
i feel so used.
i feel so full of rage.
i feel so taken for granted as a friend.
i feel so stupid for trusting these people which are like wolves in sheeps' clothing.
i feel so blinded by the lies and deceit they shower upon me.
have you ever wondered how i'm suppose to take all this?
have you ever wondered that all my doings are cause of yours?
have you ever wondered why god has allowed this to happen and not punish me?
it's because YOU have hurt me and that i need to do something about it.
i won't sit here and cry.
i won't hit myself for being so stupid.
i won't sleep on a wet pillow every night.
i won't treat innocent people as punching bags to release my rage.
i will say what i know is right and to warn and ensure that other people will be aware of these people and STAY AWAY AND BE CAREFUL when it comes to choosing friends.
it's gonna be a hard process, trust me.
but, it'll all pay off when you realise that person which you're not trusting now eventually betrays you or someone else.
you'll be thankful that you didn't share your secrets with that person or loved that person so much as a great friend.
build a steel frame.
not a steel heart.
the person that betrays you can be anywhere.
they can be the one that lives under the same roof as you, they can be the one sitting next to you in class, or even the ones who claims you're their BFF.
mark my word, be aware.
my rage erupted when they took my friendship for granted.
i trusted you.
if you can be so mean to me, why can't i?
it's not justice if you can do something i can't.
it still comes down to the fact that we're all human.
we may not live in a fair world.
but, one must do anything they can to ensure that justice is served.
in a nutshell, i'm not here to insult and criticise these people for the fun of it.
it's cos you marked such a great scar in my heart when i trusted you as such a great friend.
we may have known each other for years.
we may have taken snapshots together.
we may have shared a laugh together.
we may have sat right beside each other for the whole year.
we may have just smiled at each other.
it still comes down to the word, friendship.
that word means alot to me.
if you knew the meaning of it, you wouldn't have betrayed me.
never once have i lied to you.
i've seen friendships come and go.
i've seen friendships boil and fade.
i've seen friendships go from sweet to bitter.
i've seen friendships go from bitter to sweet.
i've been through all this.
maybe you haven't, but, i thought you were a friend.
until you clarified to me that i was the dumb one all along to believe that you can be trusted.
it's alright.
i know it now.
i'm not angry.
i'm not crying.
i'm utterly, disappointed.
disappointed that people still take friendships for granted.
i guess, it's a dog eat dog world out there.
it's either you be the bully or be the bullied.
once you're soft, you're a goner.
build up, people.
these people can be your brother from another mother one day, and hell's brother the next day.
they can twist and turn their story to blame it on you instead.
take my blog for example.
from posts which serves justice and being the victim of a friendship betrayal, to posts which portray a mean, person which bitches about people for the fun of it.
how does this happen?
it's because these people which betray me put it in their way and manipulate the minds of others to believe that i'm accusing them.
i'm insulting them.
i'm bringing sorrow to their lives cos i'm too free.
please, i've got better things to do in my life than to talk about every tom, dick and harry in my life.
it's those who planted a bomb in it which i talk about.
i hope i made myself fair and clear about why i've been writing posts like this.
learn from this, people.
i went through it the hard way.
take care.