oh god.
please help me.
i'm back to the same situation.
almost 3 months ago, this is practically the same thing that's happening.
one guy. two guys.
one treats me bad, another treats me good.
suffering with the bad one for months but the good one comes at the time when i need someone the most.
ohmygoddd!
i am SO DAMN CONFUSED!
ARGHH. it's bloody frustrating.
i told myself that this WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
and guess what? it's happening after 3 months only.
shit man. why the hell is it so hard for you to just appreciate me?
i'm just sacrificing anything for you and this is how you repay me?
hurting me and making me shed more than a litre of tears a day?
why?? TELL ME WHY??
after all i've done for you, why is it that another guy is caring more for me than you?
sighh. i really tried ALL i can.
you told me to guard you're heart when we first coupled cos you told me you're so fragile.
i guarded it with my life.
i never let anything in my control to hurt it.
i told you to guard my heart as well.
but you practically just took it, stabbed it, threw it back at me.
all i can do was just to pick it up from the dirt and offer it back to you every single time.
you were such a sweetheart when we first got together i was so determined you were THE ONE for me. all i wanted was you.
nothing else. you were all i needed in my life. for the rest of my life.
as weeks went by, everything started to crumble.
will you change for me?
your answer to me is that you've tried so many times and that we're TOO different.
if you really love someone with your life and whole heart, differences are meant to be changed into similarities by sacrifices.
why is it me giving in and patching things up every single time?
sighh. i'm so tired. so very very tired.
i'm still holding on to who you were before.
will that miracle happen?
every single person i told about this all told me one thing,"END THINGS WITH HIM NOW! HE'S HURTING YOU LIKE SHIT. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. YOU CAN DO BETTER!"
they all scolded me for being so stupid to be so deeply in love with you.
alice told me two things.
"he has already shut the door. you just keep knocking. you should just open your door for someone else more worth loving."
"you're just chasing the wind."
it really striked me. it's true. how can i be chasing the wind?
it's painfully impossible.
why shut the door on me when never once i shut the door on you?
sighh. i'm just damn depressed.
and suddenly, this guy which i never expect to even think of being with or falling for, appears.
my schoolmate. form mate.
he was being so observant to whatever i've been doing, it's so sweet to me.
he actually cares to pay attention.
he was caring for me through my toughest times.
i know everyone will think that this is just so normal for guys to be nice in the beginning and change in the end.
this happened to me myself countless times.
everytime i trust a guy, they tend to just, take full advantage of it.
i just take relationships so damn seriously, you can never imagine.
only my best friends can see how serious i am.
the history that is actually repeating itself is that i'm still attached but there's another guy who care more for me than my boyfriend himself.
is that normal? for another guy to care for you more than your boyfriend does?
well, he told me that he doesn't treat me as his girl anymore. sigh.
you have no idea how much it hurts when you're so deeply in love with someone and when you thought that that someone shares the same feelings towards you, you get crushed and getting to know that that person only loved you for that moment.
gossh. you have no idea.
should i wait and suffer hoping that he will change and appreciate me some day?
or just let go now and open my door for someone more worth loving?
sighh. i don't know.
i really don't know.
promises are so important to me.
but why is it that all of you (my exs) can never keep it?
where's my lover that will love me for everything i am?
sighh.
LOST AND CONFUSED.
please help me.
i'm back to the same situation.
almost 3 months ago, this is practically the same thing that's happening.
one guy. two guys.
one treats me bad, another treats me good.
suffering with the bad one for months but the good one comes at the time when i need someone the most.
ohmygoddd!
i am SO DAMN CONFUSED!
ARGHH. it's bloody frustrating.
i told myself that this WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
and guess what? it's happening after 3 months only.
shit man. why the hell is it so hard for you to just appreciate me?
i'm just sacrificing anything for you and this is how you repay me?
hurting me and making me shed more than a litre of tears a day?
why?? TELL ME WHY??
after all i've done for you, why is it that another guy is caring more for me than you?
sighh. i really tried ALL i can.
you told me to guard you're heart when we first coupled cos you told me you're so fragile.
i guarded it with my life.
i never let anything in my control to hurt it.
i told you to guard my heart as well.
but you practically just took it, stabbed it, threw it back at me.
all i can do was just to pick it up from the dirt and offer it back to you every single time.
you were such a sweetheart when we first got together i was so determined you were THE ONE for me. all i wanted was you.
nothing else. you were all i needed in my life. for the rest of my life.
as weeks went by, everything started to crumble.
will you change for me?
your answer to me is that you've tried so many times and that we're TOO different.
if you really love someone with your life and whole heart, differences are meant to be changed into similarities by sacrifices.
why is it me giving in and patching things up every single time?
sighh. i'm so tired. so very very tired.
i'm still holding on to who you were before.
will that miracle happen?
every single person i told about this all told me one thing,"END THINGS WITH HIM NOW! HE'S HURTING YOU LIKE SHIT. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. YOU CAN DO BETTER!"
they all scolded me for being so stupid to be so deeply in love with you.
alice told me two things.
"he has already shut the door. you just keep knocking. you should just open your door for someone else more worth loving."
"you're just chasing the wind."
it really striked me. it's true. how can i be chasing the wind?
it's painfully impossible.
why shut the door on me when never once i shut the door on you?
sighh. i'm just damn depressed.
and suddenly, this guy which i never expect to even think of being with or falling for, appears.
my schoolmate. form mate.
he was being so observant to whatever i've been doing, it's so sweet to me.
he actually cares to pay attention.
he was caring for me through my toughest times.
i know everyone will think that this is just so normal for guys to be nice in the beginning and change in the end.
this happened to me myself countless times.
everytime i trust a guy, they tend to just, take full advantage of it.
i just take relationships so damn seriously, you can never imagine.
only my best friends can see how serious i am.
the history that is actually repeating itself is that i'm still attached but there's another guy who care more for me than my boyfriend himself.
is that normal? for another guy to care for you more than your boyfriend does?
well, he told me that he doesn't treat me as his girl anymore. sigh.
you have no idea how much it hurts when you're so deeply in love with someone and when you thought that that someone shares the same feelings towards you, you get crushed and getting to know that that person only loved you for that moment.
gossh. you have no idea.
should i wait and suffer hoping that he will change and appreciate me some day?
or just let go now and open my door for someone more worth loving?
sighh. i don't know.
i really don't know.
promises are so important to me.
but why is it that all of you (my exs) can never keep it?
where's my lover that will love me for everything i am?
sighh.
LOST AND CONFUSED.
